Is the other a problem?

Dr. Sudhansu Kumar Das

 “The other” is a very significant factor and question to be solved in everybody’s life. Thousands and thousands of intellectuals have escaped from this question in life taking resort in renouncing life, the so called saints also, because of the failure to solve this problem. If these giants of humanity have become escapists from this immediate problem then what about the common man? The great absurd dramatist of the last century Jean Paul Sartre has become a victim of this problem and escaped it intelligently by saying that “the other is a hell”, which is nothing but the acceptance of his failure to solve this problem. The question comes then who is the problem? Every man is an “other” for the “other”. The solution of the problem certainly comes out of the reality of the problem.

          The whole world is afraid of “the other” today no doubt but does “the other” lies not in man himself? The problem of “the other” starts from the intimacy of relationship. The more intimate the relationship is, the more problematic it is. It may be between husband and wife, between teacher and student or anybody with anybody. It is true that if two beautiful wings of a bird start fighting with one another than cooperating one another to fly in the sky, then the failure to fly is a must. So the case with the man in the society and man is a failure. If both “the others” have not come to dissolve with one another, the problem is there and “the other” turns to be a hell. This dissolution must be complete and total so that one “other” is losing its identity with the another “other”. It means that there should be no “anotherness” at all. If this is not the solution, humankind is going to suffer millions and millions of lives and in millions of ways because it is connected with so many “others”. Each “other” is a problem for the simple reason that everybody is always trying to dominate everybody else. One’s ambition, possessiveness and desire to be powerful is actually the problem and not the “other”. The “other” does nothing but reflects your problems because he is that intimate to you.

Any relationship more than a friendship becomes a bondage and one is bound to fall in to a ditch because intimacy invites possessiveness, then domination and the problem starts. What harm is there if husband and wife accept one another just as friends than with the ugly words like husband and wife that creates possessiveness? This possessiveness has nothing but a single aim that is to dominate the other, so fighting tooth and nail directly or indirectly. One wants to reduce always the status of other in to a second.

That day will be the day of great celebration when one has found “the other” within himself and there is no need to be dependent on anybody else. One should always know that anybody who is dependent on somebody always hates that person because nobody by nature likes to be a dependent. This hate is hidden behind the beautiful garb of love, obedience, belief, respect but behind everything there is a slavery. Once one is free from the slavery of other, one has entered in to the world for the first time. In slavery one only dreams of freedom but now the real freedom and this reality is an ecstasy. Now one loves but this love is entirely a  different one and it will be simply a sharing not possessing as in ecstasy one is over flowing with it. This sharing is unconditional and not like a business deal of getting something in return. One simply gives because one’s hand is full and if not given it falls by itself. The day one is capable of sharing love being alone and absolutely blissful, “the other” is dropped and the problem is solved.

Lecturer-in-English

Shreedhar Swamy College of Education&Technology

Sadangi,Dhenkanal,Odisha,INDIA